A Depressing Start

Have you ever been depressed? I mean really depressed where you struggle to get out of bed and food loses its appeal.  If you have, you know the depths of despair that can be your reality.  If you haven’t, there is no way to express that mountain of burden. 

How do you relate to struggling to get out of bed.  When showering is a superficial nicety that eats away at your energy reserves.  When eating is a chore even when it’s what your favourite used to be.  Only a slim ray of hope sustaining you from the ultimate action.

We all are going to die, it’s just a matter how and when and what we do until then.  I have lived with depression and suicidal idealization from 12 to 30.  This is my journal of that ongoing trip in hopes that my despair can help even one other soul.